i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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