I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
