Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
