How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
