she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
