You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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