I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
