Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
