Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
