"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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