i just google imaged poop.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
