My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
