So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
