don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
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