question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
