Sry I called you an 8
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Text me some of your sweat
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
