So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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