I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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