Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
