Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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