I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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