5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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