that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
