I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
