If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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