Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
