I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
