I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
