Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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