It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i now understand why vodka
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
