she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
