Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
