I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
