Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The dick lei will go down in squad history
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
