I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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