I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
