everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
