that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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