fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
