I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
