I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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