Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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