It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
