this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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