You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm at about main and main street
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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