Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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