she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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