Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
