Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
