i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
