ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
