I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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