So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
